Congratulations Graduates!

Today was A's graduation from preschool.  He has been in the same preschool with the same teacher for 2 years and we have loved every minute of it.  The teachers he has had have been so great with him and so understanding of him and his abilities and needs.  When he first started at Jowonio he was unable to peddle a tricycle.  Now he is able to ride a bike with training wheels (I should try him without to see if he can do it).  He was barely understood by people that didn't know him and now, nearly 100% of people understand him!  He couldn't hold a crayon/pencil, let alone write.  Now, he can write his name amongst other things.  He is able to read, sound out words, using those sounds to spell words, and answer "W" questions (those he still frequently says "mom, can you stop telling me about my day" when I ask him questions after school). 

One of the most important things is that he has friends and feels like he belongs.   He never had friends before.  He was never invited to playdates, never mentioned a friend, and never belonged.  That isn't the case.  When we were at a recent school carnival for a local elementary school, he climbed in the bounce house and excited raced over to the door and exclaimed, "Mom, all of my friends are here!!"  He loves his friends and school and because of his teachers, he has learned how to engage with peers (not that he is perfect at it and he still has some learning to do, but he is so much better off).  This is going to benefit him hugely when he starts kindergarten next week. 

I am so proud of him and the accomplishments he has made.  He hasn't had an easy life (I mean, it hasn't been the worst, but not easy either).  He had significant delays in language and motor and an inability to make friends.  He grew up listening to his father and I argue and saw a horrible example of a relationship.  He moved to a new state with me when he was 3 and has seen the drama and stress caused by our court battles.  But, he has persevered and has made huge changes.  He never says he can't do something and always is willing to try it.  So, congratulations A on your graduation!  I know that you'll do great things in life and I'm fortunate to be your mom so I can see what an amazing person you become.

And, thank you to all the teachers he's had over the past 2 years.  Each of you has a lasting impact on him and our family and I can't express to you enough how thankful I am for your help and support.  Jowonio is an amazing resource and you are amazing people to work there.  The world is better off with you in it.

~G

Lunchbox Suggestion and Fundraiser

I pack A's lunch every day and have for 2 years now so I'm always on the look out for containers that are reusable, but easy enough for him to open himself.  I've spent hundreds of dollars on lunch container items (literally) and have finally found something that is easy for him, convenient for me and inexpensive! 

I present you with the Easy Lunchbox System.  The system comes with 4 sectional (3 compartments) containers and lids.  You can also get the bag to hold the container as well.  I generally put the container in the bag, some fresh fruit, yogurt, and a drink on top of the container.  The bag fits in the bottom of his backpack so it is really, really convenient. 

I love the containers so much, I'm running a fundraiser for my son's school.  Please consider purchasing a set to help his school, you won't be disappointed.  

~G

Things I'd never thought I'd have to say:

10. No, you cannot eat poop.

9. It isn't okay to dance in pee.

8. Get your fingers out of your butt.

7. Seriously, stop drinking bath water.

6. Sorry, but I will not let you get hit by a car.

5.  Please, stop eating all the fruit from the frig! (in my defense, I spend easily $100+ a week on fruit)

4. Don't eat bugs

3. Food from the floor is dirty, you cannot eat it.

2. "F&*^ You is not a gentle word."

1. Sorry your 'gina hurts. This is why I tell you to use toilet paper to wipe yourself.

Apparently, my kids are gross kids because most of these are related to eating/doing gross things!

~G

I don't want you to keep me safe.

It's been awhile since I've posted.  It was a quiet few days.  That changed today.  After dinner, we decided to take the kids to get ice cream from Friendly's.  We get there and, as usual, the mayhem begins.  It generally sounds like this, "Sit down on your behind."  "You are inside so that is too loud."  "Calling someone a witch is not a gentle word and it is not okay."  "If you can't sit on your bottom and use your inside voice, no ice cream."  "Great googly moogly, just SIT DOWN!"  Apparently they were freshly churning the ice cream today because it took awhile.  But the ice cream finally comes and it is a sheer bliss, for all of 10 minutes.  Ice cream is gone, clean up begins and out we go.  C runs in front of me.  Now, generally she stops and waits when she gets to a parking lot as she must hold my hand.  Today, she decided to run out into the parking lot.  I grab her arm and tell her it is NOT okay to run into a parking lot.  She immediately starts crying and says, "you hurted my arm!"  I told her I was sorry that I hurt her arm but that I had to protect her from running in the parking lot because there are cars there that could run her over.  Here is the rest of the conversation:

C: I don't want you to protect me.
G: C, it is my job as a mommy to protect you.  This is why I grabbed your arm to keep you safe.
C: I don't want to be safe. 
G: If you aren't safe, you run the risk of getting run over by a car.
C: I don't want a car to run me over.
G: I don't want that either, that is why I need to keep you safe.
C: I DON'T WANT YOU TO KEEP ME SAFE!  I WANT THE CAR TO RUN ME OVER.
G: C, I'm not going to argue with you about this.  It is my job to keep you safe as a mommy and I'm going to do my job, period.
C: I don't want to be safe (mumblings under her breathe).

Honestly, I never thought I'd have to argue with my kid about the importance of keeping her safe.  

For the love of radishes!

We belong to a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) which means that we pay for a share in a farm and then get lots of vegetables each week.  Yesterday was out first box of veggies for the season.  I was too busy to clean anything yesterday so I cleaned it all today.  C was in heaven!  I knew she liked veggies, but holy cow, apparently she LOVES veggies!  She wanted to know what each item was and she wanted to taste each one.  Each time I washed a new vegetable and put it to dry, she took some of it it eat.  Today, she ate a sample of the following:

Boston Lettuce
Spinach
Romaine Lettuce
Radish Greens
Radishes
Turnip Greens
Beet Greens
Chinese Cabbage

Her favorite was all the lettuces.  She is a HUGE fan of salad and was just thrilled to have so much of it available to her.  After her salad appetizer, she decided she wanted granola for dinner.  She is a vegetarian hippie in the making.

~G

Pee and the Tree

Wonders why it is that we can all go to the bathroom just before we get outside, yet the minute we get outside, A needs to pee?  And, he needs to pee on a tree.  I mean, I know it is a man thing because I've peed outside and let me tell you, its no fun and its hard work.  I don't find it liberating at all.  But, A just loves it.

It all started when we were at an ice cream shop with my sister, brother-in-law and nephew.  A suddenly needed to pee and there was no bathroom.  So, my brother-in-law showed him how to pee outside.  It was instant love.  From that point on, when he was outside, he dropped his pants and peed, wherever he was, it made no difference.  He has peed outside at my sister's house and my house, at numerous parks and at his school. 

So one time, he was at our house when he decided he needed to pee.  As a side note, I'm grateful we have a 6 foot tall wooden fence so our neighbors don't see him peeing all over the place.  He dropped his pants and started to pee.  J told him he had to pee on the tree.  So, he raced over and peed on the tree.

Due to this fact, we now have trees with different purposes.  We have a climbing tree and a peeing tree.  Fortunately, they are easy to tell apart.  The climbing tree can be climbed.  The peeing tree has no branches for a good 15-20 feet up. 

Now, unfortunately, my daughter also wants to pee outside.  And, she wants to pee standing up and get her pee on the tree.  I've tried holding her so she could pee through my arms (I'm a great mom, most wouldn't risk getting peed on like this), she was NOT happy.  I tried explaining anatomy so she understood why she couldn't pee like A.  This just resulted in her screaming at the top of her lungs while crying, "I want a PENIS!"  I tried just letting her pee, but the pee went down not on the tree, which left her unhappy again.  I think that penis envy is due to the peeing outside issue.

~G

Candy solves everything

Today, C slipped getting out of the tub.  She brushed her nose on the padded potty seat.  Now, I have no doubt it scared her and probably did hurt for a second.  So, of course, she is crying and crying.  I tell her I'm sorry she got hurt, offer hugs and kisses.  She is still crying.  So, I ask what I can do to help her feel better.  She instantly looks at me, puts on her best frown face with big eyes that say Please do what I say and says "Candy!  I need candy to make me feel better."  I laugh and tell her nice try. She laughs and says "well, where's my candy?"  I tell her she can't have candy and she says "pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese?  It will make me feel better."  I laugh again, ask her who gives her candy when she gets hurt (she replies "linda" (her teacher at school) tell her no and change the subject.  The irony is that she isn't a huge candy fan.  She'll choose salad over candy any day of the week, but apparently, she's learned through school that candy solves all. 

TGIM (Thank God it's Monday!)

First, let me start by saying that I've never been so happy to see a Monday in all my life!  This weekend was a very busy weekend and I know that those are stressful on my kids so I understand why they are behaving the way they are and what their behavior is saying, but there simply wasn't anything I could do about it. 

We went to get a car on Saturday and see friends.  The day started off by A coming into my room in the middle of the night.  We've been working really hard on getting him to sleep in his own bed all night long and this was the beginning of the demise.  The kids wake up late (7:30 am) and we go downstairs.  They watch a show and I check email.  As I get ready to take a shower, we lose power!  We are without power for 30 minutes or so. 

During this time, I realize that without power, I can't get my car out of the garage.  You see, I don't have a key to the side door of my garage.  Even if I did have one, the lawn mower is stored there. Keep this key thing in mind as it will come up again!

Ok, so the power comes on and I get in the shower to get ready.  We get the car and all is going well.  We get to the friend's house and things remain well.  This is a feat because there are 7 children and 3 adults present.  All kids behave appropriately and I'm in bliss.  Then, just as we are getting ready to leave, C, who is tired, pees on the floor (carpeted no less).  Clothes changed, carpet cleaned, apologies all around and we leave.  The drive home is 2 hours filled with screaming, crying, and more peeing. 

We get home, eat dinner and go to bed.  Bed is relatively easy.  However, night time is not.  Again, A wakes up and wants to come to my room.  Out of sheer exhaustion I allow it (BIG MISTAKE GLENDA!). 

We get up on Sunday.  Now, since we weren't home on Saturday, I need to do laundry, dishes, some general cleaning, etc.  Kids ask for food and I give it to them.  They decide mid-way through that they don't want it and throw it away.  This makes me feel very frustrated because food is expensive and I'm struggling to provide them with good, healthy foods and then they throw it away.  I tell them no more food until lunch.  THis results in, yup, you guessed it, even more screaming and crying! 

We need to go to the grocery store but I also need to go to Target for diapers for them.  Get diapers at Target and a few other things.  A decides to start screaming/crying.  I pick him up.  So, now I'm carrying a screaming, crying, squirming 50lb child and pushing a cart.  I'm so used to tantrums that they don't phase me (so sorry fellow Target shoppers) and I refuse to not get the errand done I need done so I finish getting what I need and out we go. 

Next stop, grocery store.  Wash, rinse, repeat of Target, full of crying/screaming.  We get done and head home.  We get home and I open the outside door.  We have a door to the outside and then one into the kitchen.  The one into the kitchen has a lock on it.  Guess what!  We have no key.  AND, C locked the door prior to leaving, which went unnoticed.  I try karate kicking the door (it makes ZERO impact).  I go to the back door and try, in vain, to find a key that works.  So, this now makes 3 doors that have locks and I have no key for them.  We manage to break into the door and get into the house.

I told A we'd go bowling today so we do that.  Bowling goes well.  It was 2 hours of the day with very little screaming/crying.  We get home and have company over for dinner.  This means more screaming/crying only this is my sister and her family, so the screaming/crying is increased by 1 more kid.  Dinner is over, the visit is over and it is bedtime.  Again, bedtime goes very well, no crying and then the house is quiet.  Ah, how iIenjoy this.

However, middle of the night is a disaster.  Aiden wants to come to my room and I refuse.  He begins screaming/crying, etc.  I know he can sleep alone and I need him to sleep alone.  I'm exhausted from very little sleep and really need a good nights sleep.  Alas, that wasn't to happen.  He finally goes back to sleep but eventually comes into my room again.  I have a feeling that all this week will be spent getting him back into the routine of sleeping in his own bed. 

Needless to say, A woke up tired and grumpy.  I'm hopeful that we will turn this week around and be happy again.  Until then, I'm planning on having a glass of wine each night to take the edge off and to help relax me.  The past few weeks have been filled with ex-husband issues and then this last weekend, well, its enough to send someone off the deep end!  Bottoms up everyone :)

~G

Updates and Baseball

I thought I'd take the time today to update on previous posts:

Re: Hair Woes Well, C is still into hair things, but has settled for the headband.  And, now when she takes it out, it isn't lost, so I've not had to reinvest in new hair accessories.  HOWEVER, she now wants to do her baby's hair!  Now, I knew she was obsessed with babies but I guess I didn't think she'd combine her hair obsession with her baby obsession!

Re: Tips for Separated Parents my ex still has his head up his ass.  Perhaps someone could forward this to him?  This has only pushed me to really advocate that others do a few things.  First, before you get married, listen to your gut. If it sends warning signals, don't get married.  Second, if you are more excited about the wedding than you are about the proposal or the marriage, get out!  Third, if you do end up divorced, TAKE YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS as quickly as possible and leave your ego out of the relationship for your kids' sake. 

Re: Potty Training, today, C had no accidents at home (YAY) but 2 at school (BOO)!  Let's see what tomorrow brings :)

Today's excitement for the kids was that we went to watch a baseball game.  There is a dirt pile that the kids love to play in.  They throw dirt in the grass and dig in the dirt.  They had a great time.  Even more than that, there were other children present and A played appropriately with them for the entire 1.5 hours!  This is huge because he has some social delays.  I was so proud at that moment.  I was able to sit on the bleachers while both of my children played appropriately with three other children.  This is something I've never been able to do and it was divine!

~G

Potty Training

When I worked with young children in preschool, I love potty training.  I'd even go so far as to say it was my favorite activity.  I loved to see how kids grew and developed so much during that time.  They really changed into independent young people who were so proud of all that they could do.  So, when I had kids, I thought (as I mistakenly did about so many things) that potty training would be the easiest thing in the world.

Into my life came A, a child who seeks out sensory experiences.  Well, I've come to realize how truly sensory potty things are.  He loved playing with poop.  He used to pull it out of his diaper and paint all over the house.  Needless to say, there was a time of about 9 months when he wasn't allowed to be alone, ever, including nap.  His all time favorite was to pee on the floor and dance it in.  Pee bounces just like a rain puddle, even in carpet!  He finally stopped doing all of those things and generally uses the potty fully now (though not at night--how do you even potty train a child at night?).

C expressed interest very early.  I was ecstatic thinking that potty training would be so easy  with her.  And initially, it was.  I used a timer and she voluntarily went and all was well.  I could forgo the timer if I kept a potty downstairs, which I did.   However, the bathroom is upstairs so it became a pain to run up and down every 30 minutes (she loved to pee in that little potty).  And, she was going in the big potty often so no more need for the little potty.  Well, I'm not sure what has happened, but she has no accidents at school at all, yet has accidents nearly every single day at home.  And, not only does she have accidents, she does so and doesn't care anymore (she used to hate that feeling of pee all over herself).  So, if I don't spot it, she sits in it until I do.  But, there are those days when she has no accidents at all and I have hope that we've turned the corner.  Until that moment, I'm the parent that brings multiple changes of clothes out wherever I go.  It isn't quite as bad with C.  She hasn't peed all over the floor of the grocery store like A did (though she did paint with poop once). 

Perhaps I need to bribe C with candy as they do in daycare (though I hate that)?  Perhaps I need to bring the little potty back downstairs?  Perhaps I need to just deal with getting peed on daily?  Perhaps by this time next week, C will be fully potty trained?  That is the one thing that is certain about potty training--you never know how long it will take or when they will no longer have accidents.  I suppose it is much like Art, its the process that matters, not the product. 

G

The importance of Choices

If you ever hear my talking to my kids, you'll likely think that I negotiate too much and give too many choices.  I'm fine with that really because, while it does get annoying at times and there are times I wish they'd just STOP negotiating, I also know that they need to learn the skill of negotiation and they need to feel powerful.  Kids feel powerful when you give them choices.  The choice doesn't have to be "do it or don't."  So, for example, if shoes need to go on, the choice can be "right or left foot first" or "do you want to do it or do you want my help?" 

Did you know that by providing lots of choices, you are giving your child the sense of power, which results in a lessened need for them to seek power?  Kids seek power generally through inappropriate behavior.  They willfully ignore you, hit/kick/bite/etc, or respond with "NO." about everything.  Now, I'm not suggesting that giving choices will mean none of those behaviors will happen, but they will happen less as kids will feel powerful. 

I think my kids' daycare teachers think that I'm nuts.  Drop off includes negotiations (I don't want you to go yet, stay 5 more minutes), pick up includes negotiations (I want to play for 5 more minutes), heck even meals include negotiations (I want blueberries instead of bananas).  It is frustrating at times, but I'm fairly certain that I'm raising children that will be excellent attorneys and/or Secretary of State or the equivalent.  Or, if nothing else, they'll be excellent at negotiating strangers to give them money as they panhandle in the streets.

~G

Slip N Slide

My sister got a slip n slide and it was HOT out so we decided to open it up and give it a try.  The kids could not figure out what to do with it.  I tried suggesting they slide, but they couldn't grasp that.  So, what is a mommy supposed to do?  That's right, I took one for the team and showed them how to slide.  They still didn't slide face first, but they did at least on their knees. 

Here is a picture for your enjoyment.  I hope this motivates you to go out there and have fun with your kids.