I want to stay at school and not come home!

Ok, so you may recall that last week, A really struggled at school and did not want to go back ever again.  Well, this week is a new week and a week that included Curriculum Night (the fancy name they now call Open House).  And, Curriculum Night is a night when kids come with their parents!  This is very different than when I was in school when it was just for parents.  Anyhow, A wanted to come to Curriculum Night and fortunately, he asked in front of Ms. M. because she is the one who told me that kids can come. 

Well, I saw the schedule and I thought it might be a struggle for him because it was nearly 2 hours of lots of sitting and listening and well, sitting is NOT his forte!  I tried offering him the opportunity to stay home and play Wii with J--he said no, he wanted to come with me.  I tried offering him the opportunity to stay home and play hide N seek with J--he said no, we wanted to come with me.  I tried offering him playing outside with J and riding bikes--again, he said no, he wanted to come with me.  So, I thought I'd figured it out.  I told him he had to eat everything on his plate for dinner to come with me.  Dinner that night was BBQ Ribs, fruit, and Swiss Chard with tomatoes, black beans and goat cheese.  I thought there was no way he'd eat it.  Well, you guessed it, he ate every last bite, without argument!  So, he was coming with me and I'd just have to deal with it!

We get there and find out seats in the Cafetorium (another strange thing here in the 'Cuse--it is the cafeteria that they combine with a stage  --AKA auditorium, but I digress).  He is so excited to see his current teachers and last years teachers that he can hardly stand it.  At one point, he goes up on stage to hug every single teacher (there are at least 50 here!).  So, we again get seated and he is attentive and quiet and I am pleased thinking tonight might be a success after all.

After that presentation, we go to his classroom.  He is excited to show me his work and excited to see his teacher after school hours.  He does fairly well though this presentation though was getting antsy toward the end.  Now, you would think that I would take this as my cue to wrap things up, but alas, I did not.  I thought I'd try to enjoy the greatness of the night a bit more and decided to go to the book fair in the library.

Now, the very second I set foot in there, I knew this was a BAD idea.  Tons of kids, A was in need of movement, and it was hot in there.  Again, I did not take the cue and pressed on.  He ran around like a bull in a china factory, touching books, trying to tip some over.  He sat down for a second and I tried to reset him.  It did not work, so the consequence was for us to leave.  On the way out, he is so upset that he smacked a girl.  And, who was there to hold the door open for us and witness the entire thing--why the parent that I got into a discussion with about A being a bully!  So yes, there I was, holding the hand of a screaming and crying kid while every parent looked at me as if they have never had this happen. 

And, let me just say 2 things.  1.  I know you have had this happen so wipe the smug look off your face because you know full darn well that this will be you in a matter of days or weeks and 2.  Thank goodness I don't worry about what people will think when I am taking care of my kids because if I did, I would never have wanted to go back to that school.  Which reminds me, parents, if you see someone out with a crying kid, please take your head out of your ass and be kind to that person without making looks and faces at her like she is somehow the cause of all world evil!

Anyhow, back to my story.  So, while we are walking down the hall, he is screaming that he wants to stay at school and never leave.  We get to the car, and he refuses to get in.  I channel my most calm self and for once, really take the stand from the Nurtured Heart Approach, that I will not energize negativity.  I gave A the direction to get in the car and then I just stood there, holding the door, looking disinterested in his behavior, not engaging with him and waited.  After at least 5 more minutes of him screaming that he wants to stay at school and not come home, he finally says, "Fine!  Whatever!  I'll reset and get in."  I thank him for resetting and we drive home.  On the way, he asks when we can go back to school and can we spend the night there one day! 

I love how flexible this kid is and how forgiving he is of circumstances.  Many, many children would have started to hate school after his 1st week, but not A.  he forgives and gives another chance.